Monday, October 19, 2009

Why Should Women Wear Sexy Lingerie?

Why should women wear sexy lingerie in the bedroom or before sexual activity? What is the point of wearing sexy lingerie when the lingerie ends up getting removed shortly after putting it on? Does sexy lingerie really serve any purpose other than helping make a woman a sex object?

I was reading a blog the other day from a feminist and it stood for the position that sexy lingerie is a bad thing and objectifies women as sexual objects and is dehumanizing to her. At first I was amused that these feminists are so off base that they don't get it. How wrong can a feminist be to dismiss the value of sexy lingerie to women but on the other hand it was indeed a woman writing the blog post. After reading it again I decided I still disagreed with the post but thought it was a good starting point for presenting the opposite side of the argument. It is my belief as a woman that it is up to the individual woman as to what she wears or doesn't wear in bed, before sex or to work. This tyranny of the feminist left is over reaching as it presumes to tell women what they can't and cannot wear. Why in the world would the fringe left or the wacky right presume to think they can dictate what anyone wears? But this ignores the question as to whether the wearing of "sexy" lingerie is a means of men objectifying a woman?

Certainly we can agree that sexy lingerie does expose a woman's body in a very suggestive and sexual way. Much of the sexy lingerie is sheer, transparent, short, skimpy and naughty. Thus a simplistic approach to the wearing of sexy lingerie would argue that that in itself is making a sexual object out of a woman's body. What this argument ignores is a woman's free will to present herself as a sexual being which she is regardless of what she or others think. All of us are sexual beings and there is nothing we can do about that. How we project ourselves is entirely up to us. The argument that it is "men's attempt to make women a sex object" is assuming so much simply for the sake of many feminist's agendas to make men responsible for all that is wrong with the world. In this case men are innocent of anything other than enjoying women's sexuality and there is nothing wrong with that.

The reason women wear sexy lingerie is as varied as there are women. No doubt some women wear sexy lingerie to please the man in their lives. If this is not voluntary then of course it is inappropriate at best. Forcing a woman to wear any garment is wrong but on the other hand anything a couple does in the privacy of their own home that is not illegal is perfectly appropriate. Wearing sexy lingerie is a means to an end that apparently many women enjoy but there is no doubt that men's desire is a component. Trying to insert yourself into the decisions of adults in the bedroom is simply a waste of time regardless of the reason. Free will is free will and to suggest that women only wear lingerie for the sake of men is patently false.

Feminism has done much for women although what it has done in the bedroom is difficult to ascertain. Sexy lingerie is a garment that is often a prelude to sex and in many ways much of what goes on in a bedroom is for the sake of sexual gratification. Is it mistreating a woman if he climaxes and she doesn't? Is spanking her bottom gently or telling her to do something like "faster", "harder" or "don't stop" dominating her? Where do we stop if we get on the slippery slope of telling women or men for that matter what is and is not appropriate?

I suggest we stay out of the bedroom altogether with our political agenda's and religious beliefs if the parties in the bedroom don't ask for the direction. It is legitimate for feminists to express their opinions but like politics and religion it is best to keep a hands off position on the subject of sex which is after all a major component of buying, wearing and introducing lingerie into the bedroom. I suggest most women dismiss the arguments that wearing sexy lingerie objectifies a woman as perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn't but who really cares? In some ways it is like preaching to people that chocolate is bad for you because it has sugar, caffeine and causes one to gain weight. It clearly appears that this is the case but it is also delicious, satisfying and millions are not about to stop eating it for those reasons. Sex and sexy lingerie and sexual enjoyment and men and women are so intertwined that virtually nothing is going to stop her from wearing it and he from wanting to see her wearing it.

So why should a woman wear sexy lingerie? One obvious reason is she wants to be appealing to her boyfriend, husband or lover! Simply put sexy lingerie puts an uncomplicated image in front of her lover that she wants to be romantic, have sex or otherwise engage in sexual play. Wearing sexy lingerie is similar to a football player putting on his uniform. When he does he and others around him know that a football game is about to occur. Does he do this in a vacuum? Does he do this in the men's room at his wife's office? No, wearing sexy lingerie is done in a certain context, often at a certain time, although not necessarily. Wearing a sheer babydoll is unmistakably a suggestion that she wants sex, fondling, forplay or some other sexual activity. Sure she could strip naked and say F@#$ me! Or she could simply lay down on the floor, spread her legs and point to herself but that is kind of crude. Wearing sexy lingerie is an accepted means of saying without speaking.

A woman should wear sexy lingerie because it, like putting on business attire is a means of showing her co-workers, boss and family that it is now time for work, not play. Wearing sexy lingerie can put a woman in the mood because she likely associates sexy lingerie with pleasure, arousal, adult activity and sex. These associations are very powerful just as telling your 9 year old to put his swimming trunks on! As he is racing into the bedroom to get them on is he thinking he is going to the dentist, church or school? No, he is thinking how much he loves going to the swimming pool in part because he recalls instinctively how much fun he has had at the pool. Associations are part of our lives and we know it.

Finally and perhaps most importantly a woman should wear sexy lingerie if she loves the way she looks and feels when she put sexy lingerie on. Wearing a new outfit, new shoes, or jewelry can make a woman or man feel good about themselves. Simple things like "you smell good" or "is that a new tie" or simply "have you lost weight" are things that can make our day. If wearing sexy and revealing lingerie makes you feel good or brings back good, even great memories then that is a great reason why women should wear sexy lingerie.