Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Christmas: Lingerie or a Sweater?

Christmas: Lingerie or a sweater is a dilemna men face every holiday. Does your lover prefer a sweater or sexy lingerie for Christmas? Sexy lingerie or a sweater? Maybe a toaster, or a gift certificate to the mall. Has the romance sputtered out of your romantic relationship? Well the answers to those and many other pressing questions is right here in our first annual Christmas: Lingerie or a sweater?

Christmas is a time for family, Christmas is for kids, Christmas is a time for peace and good will towards men. So the answer to the age old question, Christmas: Lingerie or a Sweater? is a sweater. Who wants to open a gift in front of the kids, grandma and mom and dad to find a sexy crotchless panty and matching open cup bra? Can anyone spell embarrasing? So the answer is surely sweater, right? Christmas is a time of running around buying gifts, cooking, entertaining and wrapping gifts, right? Romance is for Valentine's or maybe an anniversary, possibly on the that vacation a man and a woman take after they retire, correct? Well pilgrims, the answer is Christmas is a time to light the fires of romance, rekindle the bonds of sensuality between the two of you. Fact is you better buy her something personal, meaningful and from the heart. So run out and drop a couple of bucks on a bracelet, earrings, necklace or a leather coat, but don't forget the romance, lest you be looking for another mate down the road. Huh? Am I suggesting that if you don't buy her some sexy lingerie you will be getting a divorce or a seperation? No, of course not! Just that why miss this opportunity to connect with your mate at a special time of year.

Fact is, Christmas is not generally looked at as a time for romance. Christmas is looked at as a time for family, which is sometimes the exact opposite of romance. So what to do? Well here are a few suggestions:

First of all buy her a sweater. But, please look to see if she really needs one, or is it just that the store in the mall needs to sell a couple of thousand more sweaters. Point is- Be thoughtful! Buy her a coat, sweater, gloves, or whatever she likes, needs or perhaps even wants. Be generous, but by all means be thoughtful.

Second, buy her some lingerie. Why, you ask? Because it is a very personal gift as you are really saying "I want to see you in this outfit, only just you and I". This is pretty thoughtful, and very personal. But she doesn't like, or she doesn't wear lingerie, you say. Well, here is where getting thoughtful comes in. She loves lingerie! Yes, she loves lingerie as every woman loves pretty things, useful things, thoughtful gifts. But when you have bought lingerie in the past, it ends up in the lingerie drawer never to be seen again! So why should I buy her that again? The answer is obvious, did you buy her what she likes, or what you like? Did you do a little research, or wander into the lingerie department at the department store in the mall, and think that was enough.

The mistake many men make in buying lingerie is they are lousy buyers. In other words, they know little about the subject except what they like to see a woman wearing, possibly what they saw in Playboy, Maxim or any other men's magazine. But, do they know what the woman in their life wants? Do they talk with their wife or girlfriend about wht she likes and dislikes in lingerie? Not likely. So what is a man to do?

1. Get to know a little about lingerie! What is a babydoll? What is a camisole set? What kind of lingerie do women with small breasts prefer as opposed to women with large breasts? Is there a difference? What sizes does your wife, or girlfriend wear? What is her favorite color? Where does she buy her bras, panties, hosiery or intimate apparel? Damn, this is a lot of information to get and how do I get it? Relax! Take it one step at a time, and the rest will follow. The next time she goes out to the grocery store, or wherever, take a look in her lingerie/hosiery drawers. In between the nude pictures of her former boyfriends, just kidding, write down her bra size from a bra you know she presently wears, not that sexy model she wore on the date you got to third base on, you dog! Is there a label? Where does she shop? Come on, you have seen enough episodes of Miami, CSI , dig for the evidence, you will be justly rewarded! 5-10 minutes of poking around will give you most of what you need. You will need to know her bra size, panty or jeans/slacks size, weight, height and waist size. Don't get all silly if you don't get it all, but remember when you are buying something for your girl, telling the woman in the lingerie store, or online that she is about that tall won't really help much. Now, make sure the information is safely in your wallet, and onto step two.

Step Two: On the daring scale, where does your girl reside? The daring scale? Call it what you like, it is the degree of comfort level she has with her body, lingerie, risk taking, whatever. Why is this important? Because it is crazy buying her an outfit that she doesn't like, won't wear and thinks you are crazy for buying. Don't force her to wear something you lust after, that she can hardly bring herself to wear. This will come back to haunt you in the form of she may wear it once, and either take it back, or sentence it to 50 years in the back of the closet. That is not to say you buy her a pair of granny panties and a flannel night gown either. Some women may take a gift of a micro mini skirt and crotchless panties and ask when are we going to the nightclub, while others, most others are at least a little reluctant to wear revealing lingerie. Take into account her upbringing, sense of modesty, body image and take it slow. You both can have a terrific time on a slow, smoldering train, as much as on the fast track as long as you are both comfortable, and the issue here is her comfort. After all, she is the one being asked to parade around in skimpy panties, with her boobs, butt and vital parts on display, so show some compassion, as well as passion.

Now, step three: Educate thyself. Remember you can give a man a fish and he eats for a day, while if you teach him how to fish he can eat for a lifetime. Huh? Back to the story. Lingerie, girl or wife, what does she like, what do you like, what would make an appropriate gift. The biggest mistake I see men make when it comes to buying lingerie is "total and complete ignorance". And no wonder. Men rarely shop for the women in their lives. When they do, anniversaries, birthdays, valentines day, christmas, they are usually on a limited time schedule, and they are often poor shoppers. They come ill prepared. They don't know sizes? How can you not know the size of your wifes breasts? How can you not know the size of panties she wears. Come on now, this is where the battle is often lost. No wonder many of the lingerie gifts are a problem. No one wants to get a gift that doesn't fit! Who wants an article of clothing that is too tight, is the wrong color, or fits like a person twice her size should be wearing it. So, come on guys, get with it.

Take a look on the internet and look at the selection of what they have. Call a site that has a toll free number and ask a couple of questions. Drop into a store in your town that carries sexy lingerie and again, ask some questions. Now, here we may have a problem. How do you feel asking that sales girl about sexy lingerie? How do you feel about asking that woman behind the counter about their selection of crotchless panties, breast enhancers or push up bras? Be honest now. If it isn't a problem, go forth and procreate! If it is, stick around cause we are gonna fix it.

Next, step four: crawl before you walk! I thought we were talking about lingerie. Don't buy a boatload of lingerie until and unless you have first determined your skill level. In your trip/s to the lingerie or sex toys store, or in your visits to your favorite website, you should be getting an idea of what she likes, what you like, and the field should narrow. In my experience, not every woman likes every article of lingerie ever made. Many women love panties, or bras, sexy sleepwear, certain brands. Every couple takes a walk on the wild side every now and then, and your walk may be wilder than the next couples, or milder. Where is your relationships sexual and emotional comfort zone? Think about it. The clues are there for the looking? Does she go into seclusion if you recommend an adult movie? Does she offer to wear a body hugging top, no bra, no panties and a micro mini skirt to the church social? Do you have teenagers that critique every thing you and she do? Is she modest, are you modest? Do you wish she would dress like a pop singer who wears no panties? The answer to these and more appropriate questions will tell you much about what to buy her, and then you decide how much to invade her comfort zone, as she may want to be a bit more adventurous in the bedroom, yet maintain her dignity in the boardroom.

Next: Broaden her and your description of what lingerie is, and where it should be worn. Some lingerie items are only for the privacy of your bedroom. Other lingerie can be worn out in the evening or to clubs or movies. Finally, other lingerie can and should be worn wherever she finds herself. You may belong to the club that says, lingerie is for the bedroom only. We are in the 21st century, and many occasions call for sexy clothing, much of it previously relegated for the bedroom. Wherever your comfort zone is, and her comfort zone is, know that over time it will change, and likely get broader. Styles change and so do we.

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