Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Buying Exotic Lingerie for your Girlfriend

Buying exotic lingerie for you girlfriend is a risk as it isn't just like all other lingerie. When you are buying exotic lingerie for your girlfriend you need to keep a number of things in mind so it will be a success and she won't want to return it or refuse to wear it.

The first thing is to remember is the thing that attracts many men to exotic lingerie is exactly why many women don't care for it. Right off of the bat it seems that there is a high degree of conflict when it comes to this very unique and sexy style of lingerie. Let's start with some basic descriptions, definitions or simply ideas to get us started. The term lingerie covers an enormous amount of ground although most of the men and women who don't buy sexy underwear on a regular basis don't know and really have no good reason to care. One analogy is that of a motorcycle that the insiders know is a great line, awesome racing pedigree and most men and virtually all women don't know that and again really have no reason to care much. That same reality or conflict exists in the lingerie world.

Lingerie is everything women wear under their clothing to begin with as bras, panties , shapers, camisoles and the like all can be described as lingerie. The sub categories stem from there and they are often just a term that is used by insiders, lingerie manufacturers and retailers and few others. That is not to say that there aren't a good number of women and even some men who are much more knowledgable about the subject but again most simply don't even care. Lingerie is worn by women for a relatively short period of their lives, from somewhere in the range of 16 to 18 or older all the way to perhaps 60 years old and this is an estimate as some women well wear it much later than that while others stopped wearing the garments much sooner.

Lingerie is associatd with sex, romance and the like and thus the reason for young girls and older women shunning or being shunned away from the idea of wearing such a garment. Lingerie is rather odd in that it is one of the few garments that young girls should not wear as what reason on earth would an 11 year old girl be doing wearing sexy lingerie or a 70 year old woman? I don't condone the 11 year old girl wearing any sexy lingerie as it suggests strongly that sexual activity is present and that is obviously inappropriate. The 70 year old woman is quite another matter and if she wants to wear it all the more power to her for doing so. Our society has many of these "unwritten rules" that most of us follow just because it seems like the right thing to do and who is to argue that societal norms should not be adhered to?

Now did you notice I slipped a ringer in there as I was saying why would an 11 year old girl be wearing "sexy lingerie"? Sexy lingerie is a sub section of lingerie as you likely know. Sexy lingerie by its mere title suggests that not all lingerie is not sexy and that is a fact. But who makes that decision? Well, you the consumer does ultimately, although the industry tries to establish some very, very loose guidelines. Remember I said loose as there is no guide, text, or anything else that says this is sexy and this is not.

So where does exotic lingerie fit into the picture? First the definition of exotic will give us some guidance as it means unusual, one of a kind and that is what makes it so popular and risky at the same time. Many women, not all, do not relish the idea of wearing anything that shows off their most intimate parts and that is particulary true of any flaws, real or perceived, and therein lies the rub. Exotic lingerie can and usually is skimpy, suggestive, less rather than more and it reveals a woman's bust, hips, butt, stomach and so on. Thus it isn't for every woman but there again you can see why it is so much in demand at least by some women and the men who love see them in almost their all together.

So all you have to do is go into a boutique, sex shop, lingerie department and ask for exotic lingerie? No, not quite as first of all many lingerie retailers don't even carry the stuff. It can be an issue of how is it to be displayed? Or we don't want to attract that kind of crowd! So it is often limited to sexy lingerie boutiques, online sites and porn stores that carry xxx tapes and a smattering of the really sexy stuff.

So what do you do when you do find it, you buy it and your girl or wife won't wear it or only wears it that one time and then it is sentenced to life in her panty drawer never to be worn again? The solution to this problem is either solved before you buy it or shortly thereafter or forget about it. Remember I said that many women and that may include the gorgeous creature in your life who won't wear it or will only wear it once and then wants to return it to get her or your money back. Keep in mind that due to the nature of this type of lingerie in particular it may be impossible to return it due to the packaging or what body parts it touches intimately. So what is a guy to do when he encounters this dilemna?

How do you sell ice to the eskimos? The likely answer is you don't as they aren't that stupid. But how do you get a woman to wear something that may show off her unsexiest parts? Most women have body image issues, some minimal and some rather significant. So you want her to ignore years of fears, concerns and down right emotional problems when it comes to her body and show off all of her deeply hidden issues concerning her stomach, thighs, butt and the like? Not likely!

Here are a couple of ideas but keep in mind that much work has to be done before you buy her anything. I don't suggest that there is any magic fix to some of these issues. First you must establish a real, demonstrable sense of trust in your relationship. She must trust you aren't going to ridicule her, laugh at her, call her silly for her thoughts or the like. This could take days, weeks, months or years. If it isn't worth the effort then either buy her jewelry, candy, flowers, shoes or any number of other items. Lingerie is a great couples gift but it does come with some baggage. Buy her some safe or safer lingerie items like a chemise, corset , camisole set or many other items that aren't nearly as sexy but are cute, and make her look awesome.

Keep her in mind when buying sexy lingerie as she not you has to wear it and if she doesn't like the way she looks, regardless of what you say, she simply won't wear it or she won't wear it often. Consider her feelings when she walks in front of you and she feels fat, unsexy, hideous and that is not to say she looks like any of these descriptions but the issue is does she think she does? Encouraging words at a time like this are essential but may not do much so don't be surprised. Of course a woman wants to be told "you look great", "you look hot" or simply "wow". Of course you must offer her encouragement, praise and it helps if you actually mean it but it may simply not be enough as it is very, very difficult for most women to wear things they think make them look ridiculous.

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